You are a guardian of the future (the year 12,000,000)! Your beautiful home planet Nausea is threatened by a deadly wormhole which is leaking huge, hemi-spherical asteroids into orbit. Local scientists have dubbed these monstrous mineral menaces “HemiRoids”. Well, you know what lonely lives these scientists lead.
To complicate matters, a vicious alien race is sending ships through the wormhole, to blast anything that moves. Their motives are unknown, unkind, and very naughty. Legend has it they come from the planet Wedgie.
After kissing your family goodbye, you bravely volunteer for what is almost certainly a suicide mission — to destroy the HemiRoids before they destroy all that you love.
Your family spends the life insurance money on a wonderful (Christmas/Chanukkuh/whatever) shopping spree, and remember your name fondly.
